Does he have a problem with Alcohol?
This is my first time posting in any forum/starting a thread, so I apologise if I have posted in the wrong area or am bringing up an old subject and I don’t if I should be here or not, I don’t know if my partner has a problem with alcohol or if I am being a bit paranoid, so please feel free to tell me if I am. I’m at my wits end at the moment and I don’t want talk to my friends or family, as I don’t want to influence their opinion about him or have them think anything less of him, but I do need to get it out as I feel like I’m going crazy.
I have been with my partner for five years, he is a kind person and he is fun to be around. He does not drink often, sometimes only once a month, but when he does drink, a majority of the time, it is so upsetting. He randomly just decides to start drinking on a whim for no reason, and the problem is, he doesn’t know when to stop and he gets really drunk, he knows that I disapprove of this so he does not contact me or answer my calls when he is in the pub, which is infuriating. When he eventually comes home and I confront him he gets irate and a bit nasty telling, but this is a reaction to me being annoyed with him more so than being nasty just for the sake of it, this alone might sound a bit trivial, but the bigger problem lies in the fact that I am awake all night when he has had too much to drink as he has a tendency to vomit in his sleep and I am afraid that he will choke and he sometimes loses control of his bladder.
When we have family occasions I dread when he drinks as he gets so drunk and does really embarrassing things, and he also has a tendency to air or problems in front of anyone who will listen, his judgment is completely impaired when he is drinking.
When we go out I have to shorten my nights to take him home, so I can’t enjoy going out when he is with me. I must stress that he does not do this very often and he can go out sometimes and drink only a couple of drinks and he is fine, but more often than not he cannot handle the amount of alcohol he consumes, and recently he has been drinking on his own in the house and in the past week he has randomly gone for a walk and ended up in a bar for the entire day ignoring my calls and last night he didn’t come home at all, however his friend rang me at 3.30am saying he was asleep on his couch, but some of the things he was saying didn’t add up, I know that he is not cheating on me, I trust him completely, but he lies so much when it comes to drinking…
When he is sober he agrees that he shouldn’t drink and says that he is going to give up. His hangovers are frightening, and he sometimes (although not recently) talks to himself and calls himself names and even if he is walking in a busy area he will stop and hit himself on the head and say something random like ‘stupid’ or ‘idiot.’
Maybe I’m the one with the problem and I probably sound like I am moaning about nothing, my partner is not physically abusive or threatening, but it is very hard to see anything clearly at the moment. I was just hoping that someone can relate to this, does my partner have a problem with alcohol, or am I being completely controlling?