But if it's affecting me it's a problem, right?
Yes, but at this point it’s your problem……….your solution is NOT in him going to AA and CHANGING into the person you hope he can be.
It lies more in YOU accepting him for exactly who he is today and can you live with alcoholism all over again?
Al-anon is great place for you to start to discover what this disease is all about and more importantly what YOU CAN’T do to change him BUT what you can do to change YOU.
When we fill ourselves with thoughts of them changing, if only they did this or if only they’d go to meetings, detox, rehab etc. we are setting ourselves up for great disappointment.
We are entering or staying in a relationship based on hope and wishes, fantasy like, not facing reality.
It’s like saying we don’t really have to work hard and save money for our future because one day we will win the lottery.
Marrying an active alcoholic is no different, we bank on, we wish on, we hope on that the marriage will change them. Then we add children to that mix hoping that will change them……….we’ve emotionally banked on someone who right from the beginning was not capable of meeting our wants or needs.
Look into al-anon, counseling something that will help you see clearer into this situation.