nowhere to turn
I'm not really sure how to start this so I'll dive right in. Apologies ahead of time if I'm all over the place.
My dad's an alcoholic. He never hit anyone but he does get obnoxious and would often get into shouting matches with my mom. He never held a job for long and was not very present as a father, due to a strong social anxiety and depression. I've recently learned to let go of my anger towards my father about this.
The main problem is my fiance.
We've been dating for 3 years and we got engaged six months ago. We've lived together as long as we've been dating. We are both 23 and just moved out of a college town and into a quiet neighborhood. He's been a heavy drinker as long as I've known him, but in college (especially a party school) it's really hard to point out a problem when "everyone is doing it."
Basically last year it started getting really bad. I would work nights and come home to him, by himself, extremely drunk. He started lying to me about it and trying to shower before I came home to get rid of the smell. If I even mentioned the word drinking he went off the handle calling me controlling and saying I don't know how to have fun. He would say it was just because of my dad that I'm this way. Hiding bottles, verbally/emotionally abusive, the whole nine yards. Our mutual friends from work back him up. They act like I'm this b**** who won't let him have fun.
So I moved out. The last four months I stayed with my parents. He told me that he was ready to live with me again, we talked about how things would be better. Now we've lived here for a month and he's been staying up drinking. I find him in the mornings passed out on the floor. He hasn't gotten mean yet but I'm afraid it will happen soon enough. Of course it's not all bad - most of the time it's really great living with him. He can be so positive and supportive.
I really don't know what to do or where to start. I realize that I depend on him more than I should, but at this point I'm not ready to just up and leave him again. Once I tried offering going to an AA meeting with him, but he got super angry and denies it's a problem. But if it's affecting me it's a problem, right?
What do I do?