peachyqueen

About a year and a half ago my husband began to cry out for help. Depression help I thought. I hadn't realized his drinking had gotten out of control. I really didn't notice how much he was drinking, something I feel guilty about now. But when he began to have the DTs I just didn't know what to do for him. I didn't understand what was happening. How could he be addicted? How could he not "just quit?"

So after quitting his job, drinking away a lot of what was now my hard earned money, and selling many of our possessions for beer money, including our kids things, he began to slowly drink his life away. It made me angry, it made our kids angry. Angry that he was not the husband and father he used to be. He just didn't seem to care about anything but being numb. As you all know, arguing with an alcoholic does no good but most of the time it didn't stop me.

I tried to live as normal a life as possible but always afraid of what I might come home to after work. There were games and practices to take the boys to, school events, etc., etc.. I felt all alone. Finally I knew something had to be done or he would die. So I took him to an inpatient treatment center that he agreed to go to. Let me tell you the trip to rehab was one I will never forget! Rehab was good for him. He put his whole self into it for us he said. He looked good when it was over. I think he lasted 3 months before he relapsed. The lies began again and things went missing again.

Now he's homeless, again I might add. I know he really wants to be "back to normal" and be with his family but doesn't understand how to live like a sober person. It would have helped if he would have gone to AA and gotten a sponsor like he was supposed to do but he didn't want to go anymore and said he was tired of hearing other people's problems. I know I was hard on him for relapsing. I thought one of my boundaries was to have zero tolerance. In hindsight that was way wrong. But before he decided to drop out of society I had given him many chances with much support but he would always drink again.

I've helped him so much but it seems he won't help himself. What is he doing? He won't get a job and has ruined his credit by ignoring his responsibilities. Debt collectors, repossession, omg he's in so much trouble. Will he ever come around? People have said the boys and I have to live our lives. What does that mean? I let him be homeless and we live in comfort and pretend all is good?

Sorry for the lengthiness.