By occasionally I mean maybe once a month we will go out without the kids and get a burger and a couple of beers. From what I have learned over the years about living with alcoholism and it applies to myself also growing up in a very addicted household is that you learn all the behaviors of the alcoholic and apply them to your own life even if you don't drink. He as well as I grew up in very addictive and abusive households so I'm sure we both carry on behaviors that we wish we didn't.
I spent a couple of years in Alanon going to 3 meetings a week as well as 1 AA meeting every week to learn compassion for the alcoholic. Did wonders for my life and helped me identify those "behaviors". They still creep up and I still react to old fears but I know what they are and can try and work through them and know it will pass. Some days are much better than others LOL
We had a little chat last night...he brought it up...he runs from confrontation and when he gets really stressed out at work the softer and easiest solution is to run. He realizes that there is no "perfect" job out there and actually told the boss that he wants to have a meeting about the communication or lack there of, so they are going to talk on Monday. The boss agreed with him and that was a huge step for my husband. I told him I was proud of him and also told him the fears that come up in me when he wants to quit all the time. Time will tell but it's a start...baby steps!
Thanks for everyone's input...its appreciated