ElectricE

Sorry guys! I haven't really been on in a while, I have been ridiculously busy volunteering and trying to keep my mind off things! Its now day 7 for me and im soooo happy to be sober I cant even express it in words lol my higher power has been guiding me in the right directions lately and things are starting to work out nicely! I have an assessment at my treatment center on Tuesday to help get me into an in-patient program. Im a little nervous because we will have to make a pretty big case for it since I didn't start in out-patient but I have confidence that it'll work! (:

Although im feeling really good about this, there's some thing im still struggling with

1. Because ive tried to stay sober so many times and relapse so many times, a lot of people are not taking me serious. Which I get but im just trying to show people that this time im 100% real and im not trying to waste time lol

2. My best friend not trusting me. I've lied to her so many times in the past trying to avoid hurting her with the truth when what I was actually doing was hurting her more. I dont blame her though, I wouldnt trust me either but its causing her to not share things with me and im worried that shes never going to trust me again and its going to drive a wedge in our friendship

3. In the past when i was sober i would occasionally joke about using, not thinking anything of it because i make jokes about my problems but now i have to hold myself back from making jokes because i want people to take me more seriously about this.