A-O,
I've read quite a few of your posts and you come across as having an enormous amount of clarity and insight. I am sorry you feel "yukky" right now......
Personally I was used to the chaos and fogginess of being hungover or in the bag. Now I am a space cadet. I was a figure skater until 2 years ago, so yesterday I decided to get to a rink. After getting lost, I got there with only 20 minutes to spare. I had thrown the skates in my bag without looking and when I went to lace them up.....I had 2 left skates!
I shook my head and got back in the car, and ended up going the wrong direction on the highway.
I have read up on PAWS, I am pretty sure it takes our brain a bit to rewire. Be gentle with yourself!