Hi Cook4Andy,
Its hard for me to say what you should or shouldn't do. I can only say from experience that when I would tell my A all about the "bad" stuff while in recovery he would listen to me but I'm not really sure if he would hear me. He was intent on himself and learning how to "be/stay" sober that I think the added stress of me "nagging" him didn't help.
I am sure other will be along to give you their experience and you can make a decision of how you wish to handle the situation. I really don't think there is a right or wrong way, and you need to do what makes you feel good.
My thoughts and prayers will be with you and I am sure your HP will lead you in the right direction.
You take care.
Many hugs,
Debbie