Originally Posted by
happytrixter 
It's just that I wasn't an alcoholic in my 20's and to suddenly become one in my 30's seems strange. I'm not making excuses. I know alcohol is something I have to leave behind for good because I can never be trusted with it again. I'm just mad this happened.
I don't think you are trying to making excuses, I think you are just trying to figure out why this happened to you and you are just looking for answers.
I struggle with this also. Why me, when I come from a family of alcholics and grew up in an alcoholic home? Why did this happen to me in my late 30's and early 40's? At some point, I let the switch go on and wasn't able to turn it off. And yes, I am mad at myself for letting it happen.
I totally understand where you are coming from, I don't think I will ever really know why this happened to me. However, it did happen to me and it is how we deal with it now that is important.