Why? Because you still care. You care because it is still another human being. And you don't want him to die, because you are afraid that he will die. And it hurts. And you aren't sure what you should/could/can/would do about it.
That is what I see when I read your posts. But that's just my opinion which has been known to be wrong sometimes.
What should you do? Step back a min. and take a deep breath and then another. Then think about the whole thing. Think about what you are feeling. Think about what do you WANT to do. Not what you are expected to do or you think you should do. But what do YOU want to do about it?
Hugs and Prayers
B