Pamel,
I think I now understand the difference between a lapse and relapse.
A lapse is if you go out and cave to that drink... just once. A relapse is when, after that first drink you continue to drink for days on end because you are in a negative state of emotion.
However, all my negative states of emotion are a direct result of me having that very first sip of wine and then partying it up until I fall down..
I now know in my heart that if I don't have that very first sip of wine, then I won't end up feeling gross, embarrassed, and disgusted. If I don't feel gross, embarrassed, and disgusted; then I won't be anxious, depressed, lonely, embarrassed, frustrated, angry, etc...
Lapse... Relapse... Sobrietry... Lapse... Relapse... Sobrietry... and on and on and on...
Seriously, it is a miserable cycle. It really needs to stop. No excuses anymore!!!