Originally Posted by
ZenMe 
Funny though if you reverse the rolls and I had been the one practically trying to make out with her in a public place it would have been "oh he's a creep". Where as here, she just "thought it was a date".
My thought - it wouldn't happen that way at all ^^^.
We'd tell you that you acted inappropriately by assuming this was a date without clarifying it with her first. And that she should have been more clear with her expectations toward you too!
This thread made me think about communication. I recently had a similar situation when I told a long-time friend that I liked him after a fun day at a local festival. Apparently I gave him the idea that I like-liked him (as he put it later) and the guy literally spent the next four days blowing up my phone with texts and calls. I had to have the awkward "sorry I didn't mean it
that way" talk with him. And in all honesty, I look back and realize I do like him, and would have considered dating, if he hadn't have lost his freakin' mind and irritated me with the sudden barrage of attention.
What I do now is clarify right from the get go. I actually ask "Is this a date?" Or "wow, thanks for the compliments. are you hitting on me?" all said with a smile, of course, to keep it light-hearted. That way, the guy can feel comfortable clarifying it himself, and I have yet to have a guy feel put-off by that approach; mostly they laugh right back.
My experiencing with letting body language do the talking only works to a point, and with some folks, not at all. And then there are folks who have absolutely no boundaries whatsoever so they won't recognize yours at all. But again, I just don't think this is codependency as much as it is a communication issue. Codependency, in my opinion, would have looked like you actually placating this woman in order to not hurt her feelings. Instead you protected your own boundaries and your own comfort level. Make sense?