Thank you ALL so very much!!! It is amazing to have a place to talk with people that don't judge, offer advice and insight and understand all about how the other person thinks and operates. I keep telling myself he is sick. But it doesn't make the deep stab of his words any less painful.
I agree, I am projecting the shame onto my kids (who at this moment don't know this has happened).
It is so awful wanting to talk to someone rationally and them just attack you, your character, your sanity and turn it all around on you. The way he was so cold and calculated, I had never seen that from him before. He wasn't angry or sad or anything. Just wanted to walk away and be done and said he could do whatever he wanted.
I am going to take y'all's advice and try and rest tonight and tackle this tomorrow. I feel like curling in a ball right now. Why did I allow someone to have the power to cause me this much pain and devastation. If I get through this, I will never rely on anyone again. And I will never believe any word that any man says to me.
Thank you all again so much!!!