He left me
This post is not going to make sense. I am sitting here just shaking my head and crying. My AH packed some bags and have me his wedding band and left. He just said he was done. He said he wasn't paying the bills or mortgage anymore and that he just didn't care about me at all. I know he has been abusive and a horrible husband for the entire marriage. But it still hurts when someone you have known your entire life looks at you calmly but with intense hate and tells you they don't care what happens to you or your children.
I don't have a job. I don't have any skills to go get a job. I can't pay for the house which is in his name only. I can't pay for anything for my kids.
And to top it off we are in the middle of construction on the house. I don't know what to do. He is at his rehab meeting right now, but I am lost.
I need to know what to do. I can't get a job that will pay all the bills. I know I shouldn't be surprised but I feel like I have had a brick wall fall on me and the rug pulled out from underneath me at the same time.
I think his anger and abuse were better than this. He is saying it is all my fault and that I'm crazy , etc etc etc. I just keep wishing the impossible, that he be rational and normal. I know I am not making any sense right now. But it is in the evening here and I don't know what to do. I did call the dv hotline to inquire about job training. But they wanted my name etc. I don't want my kids to be ashamed. And they will be. I used to be the one volunteering at those places to help people that couldn't help themselves. And now I am one of them. My parents won't acknowledge that anything is wrong. They have refused to help. Even when there was physical violence. I have no one I can talk to. I don't want to let me kids know, but I cannot continue to pay for things. I just wanted to protect them and provide for them. I don't want them to be worries or scared.