this is only to vent
Hi! Forgive me if I need to write and bring out my stupid ideas and feelings of regreat AGAIN!!. I was very much in love with my addict ex. At this point I believe it is/was an obsession more than love but the awareness of this does not stop me from feeling hurt. I cant forget the fights, I wanted to do things with him but it was not possible, he did not want to,felt weak. We would quarrel for this. How sad. Yet life is so short. Now I see him happily walking with his new girl and think..."how silly were we? Our relationship was all about fighting." Yet even an addict can feel peace and in love, with the right person. FOR SOMEBODY all it takes is the right person, yes! I ve never seen him that lively and proactive! Believe me it was not fake. I know him well. Their eyes smiled. He is different. He keeps his hair short, looks after himself more, takes pictures (something that he used to hate). I m glad he looks better but I hate to think about all the time we wasted hurting each other. Life is too short for this. I d like to go back and disappear during his withdrawal days. That pain is not worth it. What I ve seen and heard during those days cannot be deleted from my heart. Yet there is a way to be happy for the addicts too!!! there is and his new girl showed it to me. I am sure he wants that too but she is his support! Without her he d just be miserable like he was with me! Don t get me wrong i dont want to bring myself down. I think...when an addict is really in love, he can better himself.