Hi Bob. Glad you posted about this. We all understand.
I fell back on alcohol to cope for so many years - it was very hard to allow myself to deal with things sober. It's so much better facing problems without numbing ourselves & staying clear headed to decide what to do about things that need attention. Once I realized drinking was never, ever going to make anything easier, more fun, or better - I was able to let go of it. I don't know why I spent decades insisting I could control it and use it to benefit me. You've learned something valuable, and you are back. You can do it Bob!
