Hi Tate, congrats on 34 days sober and staying strong even though I know you have a lot going on with your daughter and significant other. On this question, forgive me for being a little forward but is this the same guy you posted about who disappeared on you a couple of months ago in New York or something? I remember how (rightfully) upset and stressed out you were about that and that you were worried it would trigger a relapse for you. If this is the same guy, Tate, then I would say this is not a "one-off" but emblematic of a much larger issue which seems to have addiction at its core. I know you've said he is a sweet guy and you care for him very much but an addict is an addict, as you probably well know. And if he feels no compunction about disappearing to NYC for several days with no contact, then asking him to check-in with you over spending a night out is kind of trivial. I realize he was likely on a bender or whatever when he went to NYC but, as others have said, he obviously also has a drinking and/or other addiction issue and that's a hell of a stressor on you trying to stay sober.
I would check out Alanon as well and maybe reassess this relationship with him in terms of asking whether or not you want to continue to be with an ADDICT. Not whether or not you want to continue to be with someone who forgets to check-in occasionally. You know?
In either case, take care of YOU first.
Good wishes to you!