Originally Posted by lrntolive

Hello Everybody,

As many of you know, I was struggling last night and feeling pretty hopeless. I couldn't sleep and my legs were hurting like hell. I wanted my DOC or my ex BF or anything other than what I was feeling.

I was very anxious all weekend about going back to work on Monday. I am in outside sales and it is a pretty stressful job that requires high energy. I didn't know if I could sell without my handfuls of pills and was really wondering how I would make it through the day.

This is Day 9 and my second time trying to get off these damn things.....

I wasn't feeling too great this morning but I forced myself to go out cold calling.

My first stop, the guy basically kicked me out and I wasn't feeling very confident but I need to make sales or I won't have a paycheck.

My second stop scheduled was a funeral home. The funeral director was in and we started talking and of course, he started telling me all of the reasons that he couldn't buy.... as we were talking this man comes in and asks to speak with him. They start talking right in front of me. This guy asks if he had "picked up" this man that had died the previous night and he said no - why. He went on the explain that XXXX had passed away the following night. He said this guy worked for him for many years and was a great guy but had alot of addiction issues and it finally claimed him life. As I listened to them talk, I honestly felt that this was NO coincidence. I was supposed to hear that conversation. And I am NOT a religious person but I was there for a reason.

All I could think about was that I am wasting my beautiful, precious life taking drugs and going through WD thinking I would never be happy again without them. Or never feel normal. Or never get through it. My entire body was covered in goosebumps and yes, that could have been from my WD symptoms - lol- but I am thinking it was something more.

I did end up selling that funeral home more than your average person buys and I walked out of there knowing that I will be okay. And that I am NOT going to waste one more minute of my life thinking about getting drugs or using drugs or trying to get off of drugs. I am going to be happy, whole and complete just being me in this beautiful world we live in.

This message wasn't just for me. It is for ALL of us.