My ex is permitted to phone our daughter everyday and he says these things over the phone. He evens tells me that he says these things to her. He also attends her swim lessons once a week and he has told her these things in front of me! I will also add that our daughter is diagnosed on the autism spectrum so she has other issues that she is dealing with.
I have attended a couple al-anon meetings and am familiar with the 12 steps but I also thought it was very strange that he chose our daughter as the higher power. My ex does not believe in God so I guess he felt he needed to chose a higher power and thought our daughter would be perfect. I honestly don't think he is working any program.
I have contacted our pediatrician and she is going to refer us to a child psychologist. I wish I could stop him from saying the things that he does but I can't. For the first three years of her life, our daughter attended a family daycare and was watched by a woman, Pam, who has become a very close friend. My daughter calls her Grandma. My parents are not alive and only my ex's mother is alive and she is very sick so Pam is who my daughter knows as Grandma. Last night on the phone, my daughter told her Dad that she bought a gift for Grandma (meaning Pam). My ex told her that Pam is not her Grandma and she needs to stop calling her that. My daughter was reduced to tears. How can someone who claims to be such a caring parent be so cruel? In the past week he has accused me of kidnapping our child and abusing her. The next day he said that he just said that because he was angry. This does not sound like someone working a program!