Elis

I'll make this as short as I can. My ex and I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter. My ex is 43 and has been an alcoholic for 25+ years. Silly me thought that when our daughter was born he would stop drinking everyday and help raise her. I was wrong. In December 2011, a month before our daughter's 3rd birthday, my ex tried to commit suicide by slitting his wrists in our bathroom. He was removed from the residence and I was able to get an order of protection against him. He was also permitted supervised visitation with our daughter. I filed a paternity suit so I could receive child support. The paternity case was open for a year and a half and we finally settled in June. At one point, my ex and I attended therapy together to learn to communicate so we could co-parent our daughter. During the 3 months of therapy, my ex insisted that he was not drinking and even detailed when he went to AA meetings. I hired a PI and discovered that his AA meetings were at a bar. When I exposed his lies, he quit therapy. In June of this year, 4 days before trial, we reached a custody settlement and he is permitted supervised visitation with our daughter every Thursday and Sunday. 5 days after the settlement, he was admitted to the hospital for liver failure. He received several transfusions and was nursed back to health. He claims that he has quit drinking (again) and cannot understand why I don't believe him. He rarely sees our daughter because he refuses to have a supervisor. He he wants me to act as the supervisor but the years of lies and verbal abuse have taken a toll on me and I don't want to be around him. Recently, he has started telling our daughter that he cannot see her because "Mommy won't allow it". He believes that it is my fault that they don't spend time together. He tells our daughter to ask Mommy if she can come over to his house. I don't respond to most of his text messages but I am angry that he is trying to manipulate our daughter. He swears that he isn't drinking but he has said that many times before. Today, I received a text message saying "step 8 is admitting to people that you have hurt them. I am sorry. Our daughter is my higher power". This is the first time he has ever mentioned anything to do with the 12 steps but I think he just said that to make me think that he is in AA. So, does anyone have any advice on how to deal with the things that he says to our daughter? I know he is trying to make me the bad guy. Also, when does this become harassment?

There is so much more I can share but I am looking for support. Thanks.