trixie56

Hi all,

I'm pretty new to learning about alcoholism and am trying to understand more about it. I've read here on SR and elsewhere that usually alcoholics feel a lot of guilt and/or shame regarding their addiction. I was hoping to get some feedback/clarification on this. Do alcoholics generally feel guilt or shame while they are in active addiction, or is it generally when/if they get sober? Do they typically feel guilt/shame as they are in the process of mistreating someone, and they just push those feelings aside to protect their addiction?

I've been wondering mostly because my XABF never appeared or sounded guilty or ashamed when he ditched me for beer or got defensive and mean. In fact, he often had a smirk on his face, as if he enjoyed it. This side of him became more prevalent as he began drinking again. Last time I saw him, he spent most of our day together putting me down, I think in an effort to make himself feel superior. Then, he vanished, as if I never existed....The week before that he 'really wanted things to work out' between us. I realize I can't try to make sense of everything, but this whole guilt/shame thing intrigues me.