Wow Heather. If you go through with this relationship, please believe that you will be on this site for a long time to come. English Garden said everything perfectly! I wish I had found this site before I got involved with my AH. I did what you are doing, I believed him and have him every excuse in the book for things. I didn't listen either , not to my family, not to the therapist specializing in abuse and alcoholism, not the psychiatrist who treats my AH, not even the rehab facility. It was not until his third time in rehab and me finding this site did I begin to believe it. My children have been permanently damaged emotionally by me introducing this man into their lives. I will never forgive myself for believing all of the lies he told me. I have known him all of my life, but had not been around him since college when we reconnected. Everything he said to me was either a lie or am exaggeration. All the excuses about how horrible his then wife was, why he had cheated on her in the past, how he had a heart condition and she claimed he was an alcoholic, how if I have him a chance he would treat me like a queen, how we would be one big happy family and have more children of our own together. Also the lies about the kind of lifestyle he led. How many properties he owned, etc etc etc. all LIES!!! I got pregnant and the shame of being pregnant and unwed terrified me. I married him. This man that I made into the perfect man in my mind, this man that I had been attracted to my entire life, this man that I thought was the answer to all of my prayers is the worst mistake of my life!!! But more importantly, I destroyed my children's lives by moving them to a place where we knew no one except this man. And he has terrorized and emotionally and verbally abused them for the past six years. There was a point that I should have and could have walked away. I am working on getting to that point again. Please do yourself and more importantly your children a favor, run in the opposite direction!! Do not look back! Go to alanon, find a codependency therapist and get healthy for your kids! Everyone on this site has your best interest in mind. Please learn from our mistakes!!! Please walk away. If it is meant to be an he is that wonderful, he will be that wonderful a year from now after he has had a full year of sobriety. And maybe this will be his kick in the pants to change for his future!