My mother held a very good civil service job for an entire 31 years while being an active A. But the disease progressed and she got to the point where she was forced to retire and cut her income severely ($100k/year to about $40k), just because she was "sick" so often that she couldn't make it to work more than two days a week. She was hungover pretty much every day for the last two years she worked. She is still drinking herself to death now, after three rehab trips and 30 days here and there white knuckling it. Her former coworkers still believe that she just had chronic sinus infections or whatever bs she threw at them for years on end. Her current doctor is an old friend of hers and has pretty much the same attitude you do (it's just the stress getting to her, blah blah blah, ad nauseum). And he's supposed to be an addiction specialist. My point here is that he can't be objective to her just like you aren't being objective to Mr. Wonderful.
You have kids... Run like hell and keep him away from your children. Isn't the abuse of one A enough for a lifetime? I spent my entire life clicking my heels together, praying for someone, somewhere to get me out of that living hell. I would never do that to my children. If you won't turn away for yourself, then at least do it for the ones who don't have a choice.