don't be ashamed to let AA people know you've relapsed. you're not the first and you won't be the last. we're just happy when someone whose relapsed gets back in the saddle. i have a friend whose been out of the program for almost 3 months now. i text her every now and then. she's been to jail, back to rehab, got kicked out by her husband and is couch surfing and doesn't know where she's going to sleep from night to night. i wish she'd just come back. i don't care about her drama. i just want my friend back amongst people who are sober and care. get back to the people who care about you.