I think you should go to the CR meeting tonight. I've heard good things about it and people I know that go seem really happy, like annoyingly happy
You can start over. I did. I cut everyone out of my life that used. They weren't real friends anyway. We all used each other. Put us in a room sober and I'm sure it would have been uncomfortable. My pill addiction 12 years later was different. Solitary, because most of my friends now are like, normal.
You can do it! For yourself and those kids