Dandylion, I agree with you. I do need extra support and do you know what I'm so used to doing everything on my own or worse against the odds that I feel like I can do this on my own too. However, I am going to go visit my family in Ireland next week and let them know what is going on for me. I haven't spoken to them about any of this for years. Time to break the silence. Its all about making my life and therefore my childrens lives healthier. I am not allowed to take my son out of the country for more than 28 days without my husbands permission so there is no chance of taking my son and moving back there. I have some friends who are really supportive but they all have their own families so aren't always available. My midwife is great so I'll call her next week too. There is a Sunday morning al anon group that I can bring my son to so I plan to start going to that instead of my usual Monday evening one. I'll figure it out, I've become pretty resourceful over the years.
Got one further question though.
I shouted at my mother in law the other day which goes against my values. The circumstances were that I had explained everything to her, the drinking the abusive behaviour, him frightening his son, cheating on me , smashing my furniture and house up more than once. She saw him shout and swear in front of our son more than once. Told me she'd support me and that I should put me and my child 1st.He comes round to her house where I went to when I left because we were staying in a caravan in another part of the country from where we live and her home was the nearest place for me to go when I left. He gets upset. I keep trying to walk away from him as I didn't want to fight in front of our son, he follows me, with our son in his arms, I go upstairs, he follows me, takes my phone, my car keys and prevents me from leaving the room. Then lets me out of the room so I can go make a call to the police, he locks the front door of the house behind me. She opens the door when I come back hes telling me how I need to give him another chance now hes seen the light and she chimes in with an exasperated "why do you just give him another chance"...I literally couldn't believe it.
I shouted at them both to f off and told her that she didn't know what she was talking about and that I don't find it acceptable to be called a c*nt by her son and neither should she.
Anyway, I don't normally behave like that so I feel kind of bad. I don't know what to do cos I still feel really pissed off with her so if I call to apologise it could go wrong .....help?