Originally Posted by incitingsilence

So first the idea of helping, has the total opposite effect in terms of addiction.

If you want to help him, then help yourself. Find support for you, work on you because the dynamics of addiction makes everyone sick, get educated and keep your focus on you.

You can not save him. You can not love him well.

Understand the addiction is not a good enough excuse for bad behavior.

DO NOT ENABLE!
Meaning no making excuses for him, no covering up for him, no fixing his mistakes, or taking them on as your responsibility, no doing anything for him that he is capable of doing himself. You are not his keeper, his jailer, his moral compass. You are going to have to let him find his way and run it out his way.

Snooping doesn’t help, begging, bargaining and pleading won’t work either.

Accept that he is an addict and YOU have no control over that.
Get yourself some strong boundaries yet understand that none of them are about him, but how you wish to live. Your boundaries are not to be set with a thought in mind that they will make and or keep him clean.

Know that you are only a victim once. Now that you know he is an addict, he can’t be the blame for any turns for the worse your life takes if you hang around playing the game with him.

Let go, have faith, pray lots...

Take good care of you!