Hi Shae
try and not think of it as losing your sober time - you still have all those lessons and experiences - you never lose them - unless you choose to throw them away.
The desire to fit in and be normal is a pretty stong on - that kept me driunk for many years...noone wants to be an alcoholic.
In the end tho, I had to face facts - I was what I was - and my lifestyle choices really needed to reflect that....
if I wanted change, I really needed to make changes.
D