Cormat
I wish you the best on whatever path you choose, sincerely.
I couldn't stay quit either, but I think the reason I couldn't was because of the mindset I freely chose. The one from authority that said I had an openended disease that I was powerless to combat and that was basically all I needed to hear to continually give up.
I recently adopted a different mindset, I have honestly never felt this way about staying quit before and it's because of dropping the old mindset that proved to be ineffectual.
Again sincere best wishes not only with abstinence but a happier life as well