Mcbuzz, so sorry that you and your wife are going thru all this. I agree, this is nothing to mess around with, since there have been multiple suicide attempts. I'm pretty new myself but here's what I can offer you:
For yourself, I would strongly recommend Alanon. Here's a link to find a meeting
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ . SR is a wonderful place, but there are limitations to an online forum and some in-person help can be very important too. Please consider this sooner rather than later, as it can be a great source of support and education for you.
I'm not totally clear from your post--you mention you used to be a binge drinker, then mention drinking heavily in response to a life situation. Are you an alcoholic, or do you think you might have some kind of problems in that area? It seems like you might want to address that also (and we have folks here who are "double winners", recovering alcoholics who are also the family/friends of alcoholics. A lot of wisdom and insight from them).
There is a ton of very helpful information at the top of this page in the stickied threads. Reading thru that gradually will likely be very helpful also. Here's one you might want to check out right away:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Like you and your wife, my RAH and I were quite codependent (altho I would never have believed it until just recently), and our world got smaller and smaller as the disease progressed. Reaching out may seem impossible, but it's really important that you do it.
I'm ill equipped to offer you advice about your wife other than to say that an alcoholic will not get sober until he/she is ready. You can't do it
for her, you can't
make her want it. That has to come from her. It's obviously a huge concern that she's suicidal. You say she has taken "pills"--what are these pills that she has on hand? If she's taking some kind of antidepressant, the alcohol may be contributing to the problem that the meds are supposed to be helping, since alcohol itself is a depressant.
As I said, I'm fairly new, so I don't have nearly the depth of experience, strength and hope to share that many others here do, and I'm sure they will be along soon to offer help. In the meantime, just know you're not alone--you have a huge community to call on, both here in SR and in Alanon (and possibly AA, if that turns out to fit you). Please do read as much as you can here and as you learn more, the path will start to look clearer to you.
Wishing you peace and clarity.