Identity Crisis
Let me give the back story, then I will pose the question.... I have been drinking since 14, and heavily since 16. My wife and I married at age 23 and I was pretty much already an alcoholic. All in I have been a heavy drinker for 24 years, and longer than I have known my wife.
Now that I am sober I have no idea who I am. I have never been sober as an adult for more than a couple days and have never established an identity of my own. Everything I have done, and everything I know is either as a child or as a drinking couple. This leaves me a bit scared as I am facing the reality that A. I do not know how to be an adult, and B. That the person I have been with for many years isn't the same person now that I am not drinking. Another scary thing is that I find that I am really a boring person, without drinking I find that I am the person I would want to kick the crap out of a few months ago. I don't seem to have a personality.
Anyone else struggling with this? Any tips how you are dealing with it?
I am trying to post daily discussing whats going on I think because it helps when I get the urge to drink that I feel like I will be letting more than myself down. Made a habbit over the last 24 years of letting myself down so it doesn't bother me much.
Thanks for reading.