Afternoon All,
It's been a while, since I last visited, but here I am again as my AH has relapsed after a 2 month sober period.He has been drinking one day a week, in the past it was 5 days, so of course in an 'addicts brain' that equals no reason to stop!
Slowly but surely his behaviour and drinking is esculating though as expected.
I feel quiet detached from him, I dont feel the need to try and 'fix' him, I know I cant, it is his battle not mine.
What is upsetting me though is the fact he is so absorbed in his addiction that he cant even see (or more like choses not to) that he is losing everyone around him.
His brother and parents are slipping away and they dont want very much to do with him and his parents are having counselling because of him.
I dont think he even really cares, just thinks everyone exagerates the situation. Classic denial.
Last week he slept in a shed as I have made it clear he is not welcome drunk in our home. After a night in the shed he suddenly wants some help... its funny how when it effects them they want to do something about it but when he is ruining his parents marraige of 50 years he isnt phased?
He didnt come home last night, I have no idea where he is today, he has not contacted me and whats more, I feel like my week will be a whole lot easier if it stays that way.
I hate that I feel that way because when my AH is well, I adore him, he is my best friend and we are happy.
I just needed to vent because I HATE addiction, it is the most awful disease and everytime you dare to hope he just might make a long term sobriety .... he relapses and it is heart break all over again.
Back on the Merry Go Round of destruction.