Glad to see you're feeling better, Ach. Hang in there, keep on with the anti-depression meds, even if it means having to try different ones or different doses. It WILL make a world of difference when they get that straightened out for you. It just takes a little time but it is so worth it. I know the adjustment phase is frustrating and uncomfortable but stay on the path
Try not to get too hung up on the past and past relationships. As others have said, focus on getting YOU better. You clearly have a lot to offer as both a friend and, when you're feeling better, in a relationship. Don't doubt that. But first you have to get you straightened out. It is a totally worthwhile investment
Stay strong and stay out of your head...nothing, NOTHING, good comes from obsessing about the past or things you cannot control in the future. All you have is
right now.
Thinking of you and sending good wishes. ((Hugs))