Taking the meds. Still sober and calmer now. I will not be a quitter. Calling the health center in the morning. Thank you for the strong advice. Don't know why my head likes to make up so much stuff. I had some coffee and cigarettes while reading for an hour and it feels good to concentrate again. My half brother called and he is much older than me, so I do not know him well. We did not grow up together. But he left a message saying he was in AA and it was something we should talk about. He is 53 now I think. Maybe he can give me some insight. Being sober today feels good. People in my class today were making plans to have a few drinks and I felt so bad about not being able to go out and socialize like other people--they do not know how lucky they are.