Your story is just like mine. 2 kids, wife, and the drink. The drink always came first of course. I also would put my kids to sleep early to have that drink. I also would drink am to pm until I passed out. But I don't have to live like that anymore. A year ago I got a DWI and my road to sober living started. I remember that day saying to myself and out loud " How can I never drink again." Well I have learned I don't have to never drink again just don't drink today. I can handle that and so can you. When I started it was don't drink for the next hr. or even 5 min. Get help (AA, doctor)!! Yeah I slipped a few times, But that is part of my story now. Be well, and no you are not a lost cause.