I can't socialize because I am a damn drunk.
Nuudawn, I will smoke for six months until I can get down that much sobriety. I guess I am just lonely and I need to join a racquet ball club or something.
Why do I hate myself? Don't really know.
Antidepressants didn't work for any members of my family who suffered from depression, they make me feel crazier than I already am, lose my appetite, and stay in bed all day.
The anti-anxiety med didn't help because it made me feel even crazier than I already am.''
Sorry for the complaining guys, I am going to walk tonight and write lesson plans for my classes so I don't feel so overwhelmed. Today is just another day, and I woke up feeling bad so maybe I can wake up feeling better tomorrow. The people in my program all probably talk about me being a drunk because I am rude, mean, and vicious when I am drunk and I push people's buttons because I can sense their weaknesses. It's really bad. So I tend to isolate and I don't blame them for not wanting to spend time with an alcoholic. Thanks for the support as always. I am going to make sobriety and school my main priorities. I don't need to socialize or have a girlfriend or anything. It's just a strange day and I don't imagine tomorrow will be any better, but maybe it will.
I'm just tired of being a drunk,and yet the only time I feel happy and normal is after I have had a few drinks. But then I don't stop, and I bother people, and make them feel bad. So I am just going to be a hermit and get my work done.
I really don't know what is wrong with me, I just want to be a normal person but I don't think that is in the cards for me, also people don't want to be around a miserable person either, and I am pretty miserable all the time. It's like living in some nightmare all the time, that is how I feel.
And I do know one reason I hate myself is because of what I do when I am drunk, and yet I can't stop drinking. So thank you all and I hope my post wasn't too negative. Have a great evening and stay strong in sobriety.