You're not alone and you're not a lost cause. I too drank every day, usually a liter of vodka a a day, at least and I'm a bit younger than you. It's only been a week, and actually I slipped last night, but overall my outlook is a lot brighter and the fear of dying from this has been greatly lessened. Most people on the form can claim the same! How many of us do you think thought we were lost causes?
In my personal, non-medical opinion, I think it would be great if you got into a detox program to help you stop, as withdrawal can be dangerous. Places like this usually offer counseling and "classes" during the day to help you understand and combat your addiction. They often also help with outpatient treatment so that you're not just thrown out back into the world without the support one needs early on in recovery.
Does your wife know exactly how much you're drinking or no? I think having her support in this, especially since she doesn't drink to begin with, would be extremely beneficial.
Best of luck to you. Stopping is incredibly hard, but with time it seems that staying stopped jut gets easier.