Originally Posted by
nbay2013 
My XAB abruptly broke it off with me about three weeks ago. We were talking about a reconciliation and resumed an intimate relationship and then BOOM, he disappeared. I totally understand that limbo trixie, it was so abrupt I am having a hard time with "closure". He did email me some confusing stuff; about loving me, but confused, don't know..etc etc." There was so much I wanted to say, and write, and understand; but I knew I would get absolutely nothing that would make sense to me. It's been silence since. It's terribly difficult not being able to share my feelings and pain with him; I get it..but there is not going to be an "ah hah! so that is why you disappeared, now it all makes sense" moment. That is simply is not going to happen.
But I also realize that sometimes with us friends/family of addicts/alcoholics we have to be hurt over and over and over before we really get it. And we need to find out for ourselves. So, just like the alcoholic has to find out for themselves, everyone's road to surrender and acceptance is different.
So do what you need to do; and DON'T feel bad if you do send the letter. In the long run; actually mailing it might slow down your recovery but it might be something you need to do.
And we all are here for you, no matter what!
Love/hugs,
Carrie
Carrie,
I remember reading your original thread when this all first happened, I could relate to a lot of it. I know these aren't the best circumstances, but it made me feel comforted to hear your story, which was similar to mine in many ways. I can't begin to understand how someone can just VANISH from a relationship. No conversation, nothing. I realize that by my ex doing this, a conversation wouldn't have made a difference, if leaving was what he ultimately wanted. But, still....To just disappear as if nothing happened? It makes you feel as though you are hated, or that you did something unforgivable to them. If anything, this behavior just reinforced the fact that he has serious issues.
Thank you for your support!