Hi ImDoingIt,
I get it. You are just asking for help.
I'm not a member of any support groups out there but I've been known to pop in one on occasion. There is nothing that breaks my heart more than seeing someone up close and personal who is beaten down and feels hopeless.
Just me but I always knew the scary parts and it didn't change much.
It changed when I moved beyond fear into compassion. For myself and others.
Don't try to scare yourself. Love yourself.
You can do it.