Tempted to write XABF a letter...but second-guessing
It's been about a month and a half that my XABF and I have been NC since he stood me up for a date and vanished, without any explanation or real "breakup." This had been our second attempt at a relationship, as this time around he said he'd "changed" and "really wanted things to work out" between us. The last time we saw each other, he was pretty cold and distant, and called me "judgmental" towards himself and his friends as drinkers...I could tell he was starting to resent me, and was re-identifying himself as a drinker again. I'm only assuming this is why he vanished. Still, the silence on his end was/is so upsetting.
I've been seeing a counselor since then, and she's been really helpful. Recently, she suggested I write him a letter, telling him how I felt/feel about him, and how his actions during our relationship affected me. I wrote the letter, and it's honest, but not overly emotional. I read it to my counselor, and she thinks I should actually send it to him.nI'm not sure about this. I'm afraid at the response I might get, if it's negative. I'm afraid of no response at all. But, I'm afraid of never letting him know how I feel, and giving the impression that I don't care/it's easy for me to walk away (when it's not). My counselor said it's ultimately up to me of course, but she said that at least I wouldn't be "in limbo" anymore. If I decide send it though, she did acknowledge that I have to be ok with whatever response I do/don't get. I'm not sure which decision will be easier for me to live with...
Has anyone out there written their XA a letter and actually sent it?