I'm just over 2 months sober. When I first read your post title I had a vision of my brain in a crock pot...marinating in alcohol...on slow...for 25+ years. (ugh..wince).
I can definitely equate with the "growing pains" idea of your post though. Your mom's concern is simply from a place of "fear"...a typical feeling for loved one's to feel.
But I'm wondering..is your mom that far off the mark? You are feeling some frustration with AA...or did I read that wrong? I try not to identify too much with my addiction issues..in that...that is who I am. In sobriety, I am actually trying to figure out who I actually AM. I feel like "I'm surfacing"..and it can be weird and awkward at time times. There are moments I am positively clueless at to how to deal. But hey...I'm learning.