I hear ya lala. Patience has never been my strong suit. I think we addicts are the "instant remedy/gratification" sorts. We can not cast our spell of sobriety over everything instantly and see results lickety split. Brain and body healing take time. My thoughts and moods exhaust me frequently. Sobriety is a process..not an event. I'm just over 2 months and at times kicking myself as to why I haven't learned the guitar collecting dust in my corner or written that bestselling novel...or simply learned how to be deal with everyday things.
Ya I drank heavily for about 25 years...it's unlikely I can concentrate my recovery into a short season.