How many Mondays are there in the last 35 years?
In reality, the serious number of attempts that I made until I surrendered to the fact that there was no longer a choice was four. This is the fourth time and I have been 76 days and 11 weekends without alcohol (weekend binger here). This is the longest that I have been sober in 35 years.
However, if I had to count how many Monday mornings I woke up and reflected on my actions and what I had done over the prior two days and committed to the fact that I had to quit, well, that truly leads back to the first question. Somehow Friday came calling and I always could push those Monday morning thoughts out.
The difference for me this time is that it's for ME and others just get the perks from me making the decision. It's sheer will and unfettered determination that will not allow that AV reasoning with me, no matter the excuse. There is no more choice. I'm just doing whatever it takes to not pick up that first drink.
I'm glad that you decided to come back! YOU CAN DO THIS!