Something I experienced during a relapse.
I got clean/sober. Life sucked and I didn't know how to handle it. I used again. It sucked. So what was there left for me? That desperation...because even my old "go to"...drugs and booze..failed me. So my inclination was to pile it higher and deeper....good old addict thinking...and yup, came pretty close to dying in my puke.
Somehow I got the idea, since piling on more booze and drugs didn't work, to try to pile SOBRIETY on higher and deeper. Apparently a wise decisions as I am not only alive, but puke free!