Originally Posted by
Michael8899 
I don't have a daily struggle with alcohol, I don't even have a weekly one. I don't crave it, and I have only have a drink by myself once a year at most. But I think I have an issue now with alcohol where when I do start, I cannot stop. I try to pace myself, but eventually it gets to the point where I am buzzed, then everything I planned goes out the window and I start the bad behaviors.
The day after with the guilt, the shame, humiliation, and embarrassment is so painful, yet I kept on doing it forgetting about the time before or thinking this time would be different. I just want this to stop, I want to become a better person. I just cannot keep doing this and living like this. The things I say and do sicken me. My friends are all bigger drinkers than me, I try to tell them sometimes how miserable I am with the drinking and they say its all in your head, it's not as bad as you think...I was talking to one of them at the bar the other day and started to cry for no reason, a grown man crying for no reason.. I want to just go out and be sober, I think I would enjoy myself so much more. I finally think it's time to get everything in order and become the man I know I can be. Any help or advice would be appreciated
Michael, you've admitted you binge drink-it's rife at the moment-I used to be able to have 1 or 2-but now mins grows into 16-20 a day-and I don't care who I upset, there is no self control-I have none, and I know thatone hour out of it and 3 or 4 days' embarassment-I've lost count of the people I've alienated because once I pick that 3rd drink up they look at me and know what's coming-they just walk away-and they're all too ready to remind me how much of a show I made of myself-I know where you're coming from and I sympathise with you-I'm trying to limit my intake now and somedays it's good-someday it's bad, that may sound like crap but if you try and make the good days outnumber the bad then you're on the way.
just to make you feel a little less bad-I've rung my family members at 4 or 5 a.m in the past wanting an argument or fight and calling them every name under the sun for not taking the bait-it's took a lot away from my life.
Joey.