I have felt the same things, the fear and horror at the idea of being in pain every day for the rest of my life. Especially when I know there is a pill that can take it all away...for awhile. Until the pain comes back even worse or my addict self has me back to taking 50 oxys per day and that pain is far worse than the physical pain.
I experienced hyperalgesia too though I fought believing it for a long time. My migraines were ten times worse while using, too, and I'd be in the ER every single time I ran out of oxy with a huge migraine. But I refused to believe that I was having rebound migraines from not having the oxy. Oh the level and layers of lies we tell ourselves for that next fix.
After getting off the dope and onto the suboxone my pain levels skyrocketed for months. I was back where I was ten years ago disability wise and this was making me profoundly depressed and even suicidal. But I stuck it out and listened to people who knew better and have found that now it's true. Being off the opiate merry-go-round my pain levels have actually dropped significantly. It took time to get here but it has happened.
I still have daily pain, and I still fear it, but with each day's experience I get another dose of reality to try and help balance my fears.
So keep going strong! It will be worth it! And thank you Aems, and all, for sharing your stories!