Originally Posted by
breakfasttv 
I go to AA fairly regularly (emphasis on 'fairly'), but not enough. I get a lot out of the meetings. There are plenty of women just like me! However, left to my own devices I generally hit the crappy wine store. It is complicated. I have a commitment to a meeting tonight, but will likely cancel b/c I will smell like booze. The lies, the hiding, all that stuff. It is NOT worth it but I am addicted and scared of the consequences of withdrawing...again
Welcome BF. I can identify like others here and at meetings. Remember we understand. I fortunately heard what I needed to hear at a meeting I didn't want to go to and it was "If we don't pick up the first drink we don't have to get sober AGAIN!" Fortunately I heard that because they said KEEP COMING. I did and years later still enjoy being comfortable in my own skin most of the time. BE WELL