Thanks everyone for your replies and support. I absolutely did it before and I will do it again. And, I did learn to focus on the similarities and the profound stories people had. I'm just being weird about meetings and I need to stop that silly little mind game.
I am looking at what made me start again and the difficulties I must continue working through. It is true that one must change their life - to change their life. I hope this last big push is it and I come out on the other side with my completely "new life."