can i really never drink again?
ok ive had some pretty terrible experiences with alcohol throughout my life, some great times with friends too.
im 21 now and in 3rd year college.
my worst drunk nights included black outs for hours where I stay up and act either just stupid, emotional or very aggressive towards anyone for no reason.
ive never been an "alcoholic" in the sense where I NEED a drink or keep drinking to fight off a hangover.
my problem is sometimes when I drink excessive amounts its like jeckyll/hyde I just go insane, one night I ended up shopping for groceries at 3am 2 hours from where I lived which kinda freaked me out.
in highschool on 3 different occasions I blacked out and got in fights and I obviously got my ass kicked seeing how intoxicated I was.
the only time I have a strong urge to drink is when im with friends at a bar/club and everyone is drinking which I assume is normal.
this past year I would often turn down friends who wanted to drink because I am so into fitness knowing being hungover would cost me a workout I wouldn't drink.
when I lived in residence last year I actually quit drinking for 2 months because I was having a lot of anxiety when I was hungover (this went away after I dropped 60 pounds and turned out to be a thyroid problem)
but this past weekend was very bad, I got blackout drunk around basically everyone I know (it was a huge field party everyone had been drinking all day and I blacked out around 10pm) up until this point I was fine but when I lacked out it was like a switch flipped I was barreling into groups of people trying to fight for no reason and lost my mind with one of my best friends because he tried to get me to bed they ended up having to hold me down kicking and screaming while my parents picked me up from the party. so im just disgusted with myself at this point some of my friends want me to quit drinking others say maybe take a break for a while, I just feel like since im 21 and in college quitting completely would be impossible if I want to maintain a social life.
id say I drink about once a week and when im at a party I blackout 4/10 times.
I also booked an appointment with an addictions counselor