I think part of this is your circle of friends. We cultivate friendships with people who support our lifestyles -- when that changes, we have some tough choices to make.
I quit with my STBXAH when we were trying to work it out. We didn't drink for a long time, and because so many of our friends were heavy drinkers, we stopped getting invited to things. It was a rough reality. As time goes on and I slip in and out of new social circles, I notice that not everyone is drinking. Not at dinner, not at festivals, not at parties. It might be available, but hey, just because cake is available at every wedding doesn't mean I'm required or pressured to eat it.
Sometimes I don't drink and nobody notices. Sometimes I don't drink and someone might give me a hard time. I choose from a selection of stock answers about why or why not. Sometimes I have a drink. Ultimately it's none of their business and you should feel free to politely tell them so and go about yours.
What I think you're really saying is that you're worried that all the exposure is too difficult for your AH and/or your relationship. Maybe so! Maybe not. But it takes a lot of energy to lament things that are out of your hands anyway, no?